Let me start by saying I consider myself to be incredibly observant most days. There are other days, however, where I am completely obtuse, not because I lack empathy or awareness, but mostly because I have a lot on my plate and a few pitches get past me from time to time.
I am sitting on a cross-country flight, from Los Angeles to Atlanta, traveling in Delta One. Across from me sits a woman who is taking her first flight, her first real vacation in more than 20 years. On board, she has her typical carry-on, a backpack and a winter coat. But what’s inside her carry-on is what’s most telling to me. She has leftover Chinese food from two nights ago, a partially eaten steak sub from last night and two slices of pizza from the airport this morning. Despite sitting in Delta’s most elite class of travel, she is hoarding food from the past several days.
What’s at play here, you might wonder? While I sit here as a seasoned traveler whose been on three different trips—domestic and international—in the past three weeks, the lady across from me, my friend and travel partner on this LA trip, brings a different experience, a scarcity mindset.
A scarcity mindset isn’t a personal flaw—it’s often a learned survival response, shaped by upbringing, systemic barriers or past financial trauma. Left unexamined, it quietly shrinks choices, confidence and, ultimately, income. It can take on different forms:
- Hoarding money or resources, even when it causes stress or limits growth.
- Feeling guilty or anxious about spending, even on necessities.
- Waiting for “the other shoe to drop” financially.
- Making decisions based on fear instead of strategy.
- Undervaluing your work or saying yes to underpaid opportunities.
- Struggling to charge fair prices or enforce payment terms.
When I asked my friend to roll with me to LA for a few days, I felt proud to be able to bring her along. I go out there a few times a year to watch the sun set over the Pacific—yup, you read that right. And yes, I know having the freedom to do this is a luxury not everyone has. Meanwhile, in the past year, my friend has had her power turned off, struggled to maintain a household and dealt with health issues. This is a woman in desperate need of a girls trip.
I made it very clear from the beginning I would handle all expenses. I know she didn’t have the money to spend, and since much of the trip was “comped” through travel rewards, this was something I was happy to take on. Through rewards and very little cash, I was able to score us first-class flights and hotel rooms with views of the beach.
So off we went to take in all things LA, fully aware that we do, indeed, bring our own experiences into every situation. Almost immediately, I started to notice little things, like the food thing. From the very start, choosing the on-flight meal required two days and a lot of hand-holding. Again, this was my friend’s first flight ever, so I wanted everything to be perfect for her. I also realized questioning every expense (Are you sure? That burger is $20) stemmed from being on a tight budget. To make her more comfortable, I quickly introduced her to one of my splurges, the $7 bag of fruit snacks inside the airport, a regular part of my travel routine, encouraging her to grab equally pricy snacks for the plane.
Our first night in LA, we went to a local store to grab (normal priced) snacks for our rooms as well as adult beverages. I often do this so I can have food when my nighttime cravings kick in. While I grabbed a bottle of champagne and two other small items, she loaded up a shopping cart with purchases. I gently reminded her we were only in LA for a few days and you can’t bring some of those items through TSA. They likely will have to be tossed.
When it came time for meals, she often over ordered (I didn’t mind, of course) and stashed items in her hotel fridge. Later, I was surprised when we packed up to go home that she had a bookbag full of leftover meals. (In fact, on our way out to LA, she wrapped up a chicken thigh from our layover meal; I’m not sure whatever happened to that).
I feel it’s important to mention here that I am incredibly cheap—in most of my life, except for travel. Travel is where I tend to splurge. Who knows when I’ll get back to a certain city/country/restaurant/excursion, so I tend not to scrimp on these activities. I also am keenly aware of how food insecurity impacts several communities (see More Than Eggs) and understand how wasteful I can be. When I travel, however, I am constantly trying to lighten my load by discarding things along the way. And, yes, I tend to waste leftovers, particularly if I’m out sightseeing. It can be impractical to take them with me.
I am sad because I hadn’t realized before that there were scarcity issues with my friend. How did I miss this? As we buckled in for the flight home, watching her carefully reorganize her bags—leftovers tucked just right, nothing wasted—I realized this wasn’t really a story about food, travel or even money. It was a story about safety. About what we carry when we’re not sure when ease will come again. Scarcity has a long memory. It doesn’t disappear just because circumstances change or because you’re suddenly seated in first class with linen napkins and endless snacks. It lingers. It whispers, hold on, save this, you might need it later.
And here’s the part where I turn the lens back on myself. My ability to discard, to trust that more is coming, to lighten my load as I move through the world—that’s not just preference. That’s privilege. That’s practice. That’s years of unlearning my own scarcity and building trust with money, access and myself. My friend isn’t “doing it wrong.” She’s doing what once kept her afloat.
Because abundance isn’t about flying first class or ordering without looking at prices. It’s about knowing—deep down—that you’ll be okay even if you don’t take everything with you. Sometimes, saving yourself means learning when you can finally put the leftovers down.
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