January arrives with a familiar chorus: new year, new goals, new hustle. More budgets. More tracking. More pressure to get it right this time.
But this year, I’m choosing something different.
Instead of adding more financial rules, I’m releasing the habits, beliefs and behaviors that quietly keep women stuck—especially the activities rooted in shame, silence and exhaustion. This isn’t about deprivation. It’s about discernment.
Because real financial growth doesn’t always start with what we do. Sometimes, it starts with what we stop doing.
Here’s what I’m leaving behind.
1. I’m not ignoring my numbers.
I am no longer ignoring my numbers—even when they make me uncomfortable (hello, tax bill). Clarity is better than avoidance. I commit to staying on top of my credit score, credit utilization and investments because awareness is the first step to power.
2. I am no longer donning a cape.
I have thrown around the phrase, “I’ve got this,” like a badge of honor—flexing it at work, at home, in my marriage, as a parent, in my mom groups and with my girlfriends. But the truth? I’m tired. And for once, I don’t want to have it. I want someone else to.
3. I am no longer avoiding my 401K mess.
As I write this, I have 401(k)s with three former employers, dating back to 2020. I’m done with scattered money “buckets” and committed to simplifying by rolling them into one account.
4. I am not spending out of stress, boredom or obligation.
If I’m having a bad day—or celebrating a good one—retail therapy isn’t the solution.
5. I am not pretending everything is fine financially.
The entire point of SaveYourSelf is to share our financial stories—all of them. Silence keeps us stuck. Honesty creates movement.
6. I am not waiting until I feel ready to make smart money moves.
Progress begins with imperfect action. Start and then start again, if that’s what it takes.
7. I am not letting shame drive my financial decisions.
Shame has never paid a bill or built security. Accept the loan from a loved one or let people know your fridge is looking a little empty.
8. I am not confusing busy with productive.
More tools don’t equal better outcomes. Take time to really understand the resources you have and how best to utilize them.
9. I am not saying yes to expenses that don’t align with my values.
Every “yes” costs something: time, peace or momentum. That’s why, in our household, extra dollars are directed toward two priorities—education and experiences.
10. I am not comparing my financial experiences to anyone else’s.
On social media, everyone appears to have it together. In real life, different lives move on different timelines.
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