The three adult children rotate in and out, stopping by for carefully orchestrated visits every Saturday that they disguise as “I was just in the neighborhood” pop-ins. They open the fridge and cabinets to check for food. They covertly take stock of her meds to make sure they’re being taken as prescribed. It’s a delicate balancing act—respecting independence while quietly stepping in to help.
On the outside, they look like any other middle-class family—the right cars, the right schools, and the right social activities for them and their children. But beneath the surface is a different story. To buy into this well-desired neighborhood—and this lifestyle—they’re spending far more than the 30 percent financial experts recommend for housing. That leaves little left over after the bills are paid. Open the fridge and you might be surprised to find it nearly empty.
She skips meals or insists she’s already eaten. When you take her shopping, she’s extremely frugal, grabbing just a few basic items. The last time you went with her, she picked up a handful of fruits and vegetables and said it would last her two weeks. Two weeks?
Later, while helping an elderly family member review her budget, you realize she’s about $200 short—and that’s before groceries. When you bring it up, she assures you there’s “plenty of food in the freezer.” Still, something doesn’t add up.
This is what food insecurity looks like.
It’s not always the person holding a sign on the corner or standing in line at a food bank—though it certainly can be. Sometimes, it’s the grandmother in the nice neighborhood, the single parent with a good job or the college student splitting ramen noodles three ways.
And it goes way beyond the price of eggs.
Food insecurity is often silent. It’s layered in shame, pride and fear of judgment. It affects people you know—people who are doing their best to keep up appearances while quietly making impossible choices between medicine, rent and meals.
So, what can we do?
We can start by recognizing that food insecurity isn’t always obvious. We can check in without judgment. We can advocate for policies that support affordable housing, accessible healthcare and equitable food systems. And most importantly, we can talk about it—openly and without shame.
Because no one should have to pretend they’re full.
You can help with food insecurity by donating to mdfoodbank.org or your local food bank.
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