Say it loud
I’m cheap and I’m proud
Yup, I’m cheap. And I completely own it. When I was younger, my mother would jokingly—at least I hope she was joking—call me a miser and say that I was going to save all my money, die and then someone else would spend it. Ouch! Her point was that I needed to enjoy my money, not hoard it. “Don’t be cheap with yourself,” she would say.
I have always been very clear about distinguishing needs from wants, even as a child. When I have to spend money unnecessarily, I get the shakes and become anxious. Sometimes, I freeze. Online shopping carts remain full of purchases I can’t pull the trigger on. Computer bots from Wayfair, Amazon and Walmart follow me around the Internet reminding me that I have left some items behind. Come and get them.
There’s a saying, “You can tell what you value by looking at how you spend your money.” I believe everyone has to have a thing. The thing that makes them feel good, special, rewarded, alive. My thing is experiences. Traveling. Dining with friends. Seeing my favorite band live. Doing.
Be clear: I will open my wallet. In fact, in our household we place value on what we call the two EEs—education and experiences—which covers a lot of ground. This is how we spend any extra money.
For me, this mindset started in my childhood, where a lot of our money habits and hang-ups begin. When I was a kid, I asked my parents where George Washington lived, and off we went to Mount Vernon to visit his adopted home. In fact, I remember a lot of our family trips having an educational angle. We couldn’t just visit our grandfather’s farm in South Carolina, we had to learn about all the animals and how to take care of the land. From the front seat of our station wagon, my parents doled out history lessons on the towns we drove through and the places we had been.
Later, when I married and became a mom and my little one asked about “that lady in the painting, you know, the one who smirks,” we booked a spring break trip to London and Paris, so we could visit the Louvre and see the Mona Lisa.
Recently, after my son did a school project on China and also developed a love for the Japanese manga series Naruto, he became obsessed with visiting Asia and learning more about Chinese and Japanese cultures. Before the pandemic hit, we had discussed my husband and son visiting Asia for their annual summer trip.
These types of trips cover both experiences and education. But so do less lofty outings.
Martinis while catching up with my friends? Yup. Experience.
Learning to cook online, via YouTube. A delicious education and experience.
Acoustic guitar lessons, also online, with a paid music teacher. Education and experience.
Finishing up my MBA. Education.
Our son’s multiple sports activities. Experience.
For these types of experiences, my wallet is wide open. There’s absolutely no anxiety about spending money.
Am I still miserly? You bet. At this point, it probably won’t change. But I have worked hard on not being cheap with myself.
Mom would be proud.
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